Friday, March 30, 2012

Can I sing Swami?

It is the dream of my mother to make me sing classical music atleast for some functions at home. My experiences in attempting to learn carnatic music itself is a blog post that can be found in My singing odyssey or an ordeal? . I tried my best many a times and could not find a guru to take a step ahead in that direction.
Once I started attending weekly bhajans in Annanagar, Chennai, the thirst for singing bhajans rose in me. The joy in listening to roof top bhajans in one of the houses in Anna nagar made a big impact in my life. The impact I had after the Saturday bhajans would make me long for the next session and would keep me engaged in trying to remember those bhajans that were sung in that house. This definitely had brought Swami closer to me as one such continuous singing led to Swami showing His presence at my home.
After I got married I was out of touch with bhajans as we moved to Baroda and I did not have any clue about Sai centres there and my husband’s work pressure was immense that we had very little time even for ourselves. After a gap of five long years when we moved to Joburg He drew us back into his fold with a greater mission. Our lives turned 360 degrees with involvement of my husband into Sai movement and his dedication towards the same. This helped in my personal transformation as well.
My husband started singing in bhajans and got involved in Sai activities slowly and steadily. I used to accompany him for every bhajan practice. I always had a subtle prayer to Swami to allow me to enjoy singing bhajans instead of just listening. During one of the bhajan practice sessions the bhajan convener asked me try a simple Ganesha bhajan as a duet. All the bhajan singers gave me lot of confidence.
The first bhajan I tried was “Gajavadana gana natha”. Lots of appreciations boosted my interest to learn more bhajans. The second step I took in this path was “Ananda Sagara”. I sang this bhajan just before leaving to India for a vacation. The plan was to celebrate my Son’s crown birthday in Swami’s abode. On my son’s birthday we visited His birthplace and spent some quality time in peace. When we returned to the Mandir the bhajans had already begun. We were at the tail end of that session. After we settled in a place in the Kulwant hall I got a surprise of my life when I heard “Ananda Sagara” being sung just before Aarathi. Swami made sure that He indicated to us that He indeed was happy. He gave the blessing in formless form!
Recently I was practising “Dasaratha nandana Rama” and a subtle thought came into my mind. I asked Swami how I was supposed to visualise Him while I sang this bhajan. The answer came the next morning in the form of a friend who posted the picture of Swami next to Rama sita and Lakshmana that was taken by him few years ago.



Needless to say my prayers were answered and that I visualized that picture of Swami as I sang that bhajan yesterday in Satsang (Swami actually sung through me!). He definitely has boosted my confidence and is giving me opportunity to enjoy the bhajans in a completely new angle.
From a zero to what I am today is nothing but His grace. He is listening to every genuine prayer!
Jai SaiRam!